I’m a Beard-o-holic

Hi, my name is Walnut.

I am being forced to confess my alleged crimes as part of a plea deal. My flockmates have rallied against me and want to vote me “off the island,” as if our lives at UrbanFarmOC are like an episode of Survivor. Geez!

It’s so humiliating. They even made me post my confession to social media. So freakin’ embarrassing! Oh well, I’m not ready to be voted off, so I must do this too…


Confession 1:

I am a beard-o-holic. I LOOOOOVE beards. Specifically, I love eating them. I’ve “cleaned” off the beards of every bearded member of the flock, except Newton, because I’m really scared of her.

To RuPaul, Uno, Lavender, Colonel Rock, Betty White, Yolkahontas and Bocktoven: I’m sorry for eating all of your beards. I’m also sorry that you have no more beards for me to eat, and that my beard is awesome, compared to yours. If I could reach it, I’d eat my own beard too though. So, um, sorry, not sorry? But think about it this way… not having a beard means less maintenance, right?

Uno used to have an awesome beard RuPaul used to have an awesome beard

Bocktoven used to have an awesome beard... Betty White used to have an awesome beard

Yolkahontas used to have an awesome beard... Lavender used to have an awesome beard

Colonel Rock used to have an awesome beard.

Photos Left to Right, Top to Bottom: Uno, RuPaul, Bocktoven, Betty White, Yolkahontas, Lavender, Col. Rock

Confession 2:

According to the humans, I’ve turned into an egg hoarder and a free-loader. I used to lay my pretty olive green eggs in the nest boxes like all the other hens. But why should I? The humans want me to help contribute rent with my eggs, but dammit, they’re mine, right?!!!?? Apparently the humans and the rest flock disagree with me. I don’t know if I’m ready to reveal all my hiding places….one step at a time. I’ll try to lay in the nest box at least once in a while.

Confession 3:

I frequently trespass into the humans’ patio area. It’s supposedly a chicken-free zone. But it’s such a nice area! I mean, there are no other chickens there, the floors are poop-free, and the dirt area is soooo awesome to dig in. There are so many bugs and worms living on that side of the fence. Plus, it’s an ideal dust-bathing spot. Sometimes, there are delicious tender plants that grow there for me to eat. I mean, it’s my own little goldmine! Nonetheless, the stupid humans say that it’s their territory and I’m not allowed in without permission. They’re never around when I am trying to ask, so I don’t really know what they’re complaining about. Oh well…


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